What Does Picking Yourself Actually Look Like?
Blood, sweat, tears, sleepless nights and heartache. But it also involves moments of complete joy, excitement and breakthroughs you never thought were possible.
On Friday 17th May my friend, Life Design Strategist Georgie Shears and I did a live radio show up with Reform Radio talking about time and what it feels like to not have enough of it. The show ran for an hour and featured five tracks by emerging artists Ni Maxine, Plumm, Naima Adams, Tyrone Isaac-Stuart and Amy Gadiaga. It was recorded and added Reform Radio website HERE. You can also listen to our first show from earlier this year HERE.
I’m writing this on Friday morning from my aunt and uncle’s near Liverpool as I’ll be heading over to Manchester for the show. It was a three and a half hour drive from Bedford in the rain yesterday and my dog Misty was VEXED for pretty much the entire journey except when I gave her a treat (not easy when driving up the M6!).
That said the non-stop drive was an opportunity to reflect on the week thus far summarised as: highs and lows. Lows because at one point a conversation with someone made me feel underestimated and that led me to doubting myself. Highs because the next day I was delivering a 90-minute online workshop for Youth Music on leveraging your network to make more money and a) it went well (yay!) and b) I really enjoyed it. It was a lot of prep, and I was nervous because I really wanted it to be fun and interactive (because OMG if I go to another Zoom workshop where I stare at a screen and listen to someone talk at me, I will break my laptop).
This is all to say that I was reminded of how hard it is to show up every day and pick yourself. We want people to approve of what we’re doing, to accept us and to choose us. We want to feel wanted and important. The problem with this is…well there are many problems with this but for now let’s just focus on the plain and simple fact that most people won’t get what you’re trying to do for a while. They'll just see what they know and understand, which for the most part isn’t much and that can lead to days when you feel undervalued or not seen. It can also be extremely frustrating when you’re working your behind off trying to get things moving and some just people don’t get it. Because why would they? How many people do you know who have actually taken the risk and picked themselves? Not many, because it’s hard and scary and there are no guarantees.
Picking yourself also means looking after yourself and looking after yourself is challenging at the best of times and quite boring. But, if you were a professional athlete going for gold you wouldn’t just turn up to the Olympics not having spent years sticking to a training regime, right? Side note: it doesn't just involve physical exercise just as yours doesn't involve endlessly working. I think we can all imagine how tough it is to prepare for something like that so why would it be different for anything else that involved big dreams? People don't see that bit either. They just see what happens when it goes well.
The theme of mine and Georgie’s Reform Radio show is inspired by one of the artists we’re featuring. Her name is Naima Adams and about three years ago she was really worried that she’d missed the boat. It was difficult to keep going after seeing so many creative career opportunities disappear due to the pandemic.
I was coaching and mentoring her at the time and over an 18 month period supported her to get to a place where she could start to re-prioritise her music again. It wasn’t easy; she needed to earn money while working on her creative ambitions and was very much in demand as a project manager and promoter because she was so organised, committed and reliable. She could have let that take over, but she didn’t. She picked herself and her music again and again and again.
Today Naima has released her first single called ‘Fragile’. It’s been out for just over a week and has had great traction and featured on lots of brilliant playlists. But this isn’t why I’m proud of Naima, I’m proud of her because she kept going in spite of the many hurdles she faced along the way.
Naima is a lesson in persistence, patience and determination. A reminder that picking yourself involves blood, sweat, tears, sleepless nights and heartache. But it also involves moments of complete joy, excitement and breakthroughs you never thought were possible. Then back to it, head down, inching your way forwards day by day.
When you decide to pick yourself you want to know it’ll all work out, that it’ll be worth it in the end. Except you can’t know, no one can. That’s the thing about picking yourself, you just have to try and keep trying, over and over until one day you wake up and finally find yourself there. It probably isn’t exactly how you imagined it, it never is but you made it nonetheless. It wasn't glamorous, there were wrong turns, a lot of questioning yourself and some days you just wanted to pack the whole thing in. Instead you picked yourself and kept on going. So if you need to hear this today, keep going, you'll get there.
What I’m reading: I gave up on ‘The List’ by Yomi Adegoke. I just couldn’t get into it. I REALLY want to buy the follow up to ‘Fourth Wing’ by Rebecca Yarros because apparently tween books are my thing but instead, I’m going to attempt to finish some books I started last year but didn’t finish, beginning with ‘The Obelisk Gate’ by N. K. Jemisin. Watch this space...
What I watched: Comedian/actor Bill Burr putting Bill Maher in his place. I think Maher got off lightly, but I guess it was his podcast show.
What I listened to: Jordan Rakei’s new album ‘The Loop’. I love him so much. Also, Naima Adam’s new single ‘Fragile’ and lots of other tracks on Tina Edwards ‘The Next Big Thing: Rising Artists’ playlist on Spotify.
Tech I’m using: Otter.ai came out to play this week. I used it to transcribe my Zoom session on ‘Leveraging Your Network for Fundraising Success'. Then I got Claude to do the summary because who the hell wants to read a one a half hour transcript!
Trending down: The resources grab behind the genocides in Sudan, DRC and Palestine. You can read more here: www.planetcritical.com.
Trending up: My plants! My lovely friend Laz was ‘Guardian of Jennie’s Pots’ for four years while I was doing my nomad thing (if you’re new to this list I made myself homeless for three years during the pandemic so I could save up to buy a house, which I now live in). I finally went to collect them a couple of weekends ago and came back with lots of cuttings. Mum and baby plants are doing well, and I’m really proud of my fledgling green fingers!
Another week is nearly over and we’re somehow in mid-May. Say what?? In the spirit of this email, my question to you is what do you believe you’ve left too late? More importantly, what are you going to do about it?
Till soon!
Jennie x
P.S. Here are some ways you can work with me:
· 1:1 or small group coaching for ambitious purpose-driven creatives (including artists, solopreneurs and small businesses owners) to gain clarity, confidence and motivation so they can make more money to reinvest in their careers, businesses and communities. Check out some testimonials HERE.
· Workshops and masterclasses for creatives and creative organisations. Recent ones have included a wellbeing workshop and a masterclass on leveraging your network to make more money. You can read more about my experience HERE.
· Workshops for children between 4-8 years old to accompany my children’s book, ‘Becoming Brave’. More info can be found HERE.
**You can also find out more by booking a call with me HERE.**