What Do You Want to Create – And Can You Trust Your Word to Get You There?
A reflection on integrity, creativity, and the underestimated power of our promises.
What does being in integrity mean to you?
Another way to ask this might be: what does sticking to your word mean to you?
The idea of being in integrity has come up a few times in training sessions in The Coach’s Operating System (TCOS), created by Townsend Wardlaw. Their most recent masterclass, led by Trevor Timbeck, was called The Power of Misunderstanding, and it got me thinking about how learning to be in integrity starts young and continues for the rest of our lives.
I’m currently in Brussels with my partner and his nine-year-old son, and we’ve had multiple conversations this week about what it means to be in integrity.
Right now, the way his son sees the world is: I want what I want and if that means lying, telling a ‘porky pie’, or exaggerating to get it, that’s okay.
We’re trying to teach him that this behaviour means we end up second-guessing him. It also makes it harder to know when something serious (like an asthma flare-up) is actually happening, because we can’t rely on his word.
What this little human doesn’t yet understand is that even though bending the truth might give him what he wants in the short term, it chips away at trust. And over time, his word loses its power.
As Trevor put it: “When something is out of integrity, it doesn’t work.”
Our conversations with my partner’s son have been a reminder that the real power in our lives comes from being someone who can be counted on, not just for others but for ourselves too.
“Our word is the only thing we have the power to create with.” – Townsend Wardlaw
If you say you’re going to create something and you do, that’s powerful.
If you say you’ll meet someone at 1pm and you call ahead to say you’re running late, that’s powerful.
If you arrive at 1:01pm without acknowledging it, you’re technically no longer in integrity and your word loses some of its power.
But isn’t about achieving perfection, it’s about your ability to notice and acknowledge when you’re out of integrity.
Even the way you speak about your experience matters.
If you say, “This is going to be hard,” your words create a hard experience.
If you say, “This is going to be interesting,” your words can open up a different possibility for you.
Integrity isn’t just about words, it’s about how your whole body responds to them
What do you notice when you give your word? Does your whole body say yes, or does something hold back?
When you give your word with your whole body, you’re more likely to behave in a way that honours it.
When you override that internal signal, you risk stepping out of integrity with yourself, even if no one else notices.
Which leads to some deeper questions:
• Who are you giving your word for? Yourself, or someone else?
• What happens when you change your mind?
• And if you do, do you allow yourself to reset the agreement?
Let’s say you promise someone, “I won’t repeat this story to anyone else.”
If you later feel it’s important to tell the story (and it’s your story to tell) you’re out of integrity, but you can get back into it. How? By going to the person you made the promise to and having an honest conversation. That’s how your word regains its power.
When your words don’t match your actions
If you say one thing and do another, your word loses power. And people stop trusting it.
But when you practise keeping your word (and being honest when you can’t) your word has power. And when your word has power so do you. And with that power, you can create things you never thought possible.
So here’s my question to you this month:
What would you like to create with your word?
Big thanks to Townsend and Trevor for their wise (and powerful) words.
Till soon!
Jennie
P.S. I’m running a free lunchtime session on the four essential ingredients most creatives, consultants and entrepreneurs overlook when building a career or business:
🗓 Monday 22nd April
🕐 1–2pm (UK)
💻 Live on Zoom (details sent when you sign up)
🎟 Sign up here → jenniecashman.com/four-ingredients
✨Accompanying quiz here → jenniecashman.com/quiz
P.P.S. Connect with me here:
📸 Instagram: @jenniecashman
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