I’m Worried About J-Lo
J-Lo is a 54-year-old Latina woman from the Bronx. She’s Jenny from the Block. Statistically there’s no way she should be where she is and yet, here she is, still going.
My guilty pleasure is celebrity gossip. There. I said it. I’m not as bad as I used to be; I don’t buy magazines nor do I particularly follow anyone anymore but when I was younger I was…invested. One of my best friends still jokes about my genuine concern for Geri Halliwell after reading yet another edition of Heat Magazine. In my defence I was 20 and that’s all we had back then. That said, I still love a good YouTube interview clip, the Graham Norton Show and the odd celeb documentary. Cue ‘The Greatest Story Never Told’, a behind the scenes documentary following the production of J-Lo’s latest creation, ‘This Is Me…Now’ part music video, part musical, part album all inspired by her love life (obvs).
Because it was the bank holiday weekend and because I was taking some much needed time off I watched both, because why not? Because sometimes I need a bit of pop culture to counter everything else. And because I have a tendency to over-empathise with people I don’t know (old habits die hard), I couldn’t help but feel worried for J-Lo. Hear me out. J-Lo is a 54-year-old Latina woman from the Bronx. She’s Jenny from the Block. Statistically there’s no way she should be where she is and yet, here she is, still going. Her career has been around since Chris Evans’ TFI Friday show was a thing. Remember him? Exactly! She has nine studio albums under her belt and released 8 number one singles across four of them, which was a record. She’s been in over 30 movies. She’s been nominated for and won hundreds of awards. And if that wasn’t enough the woman trained for a triathlon six months after having twins when she was 39.
So when I see this amazingly successful woman who has defied all odds and literally done it all, desperately striving to make an hour long music video (that’s not a music video) like her life depends on it I’m like, ‘Guuuurrrllll, you need to relax.’ As her husband Ben Affleck points out, she’s there, she’s done it. But in her mind she’s still got something more to prove and my question is, to whom? Because J-Lo will always be J-Lo. She’s a pop star at the end of the day. There will be some people who will always love her (and there are many) and there will be others who will always criticise her no matter what she does (because that’s how they get paid).
Yet it would seem that because of a narcissistic mother (according to her) she’s eternally focused on trying to change the mind of her critics, which means that no matter what she does, or achieves or how hard she works it will never be good enough. Honestly, I felt exhausted watching her because the other thing about this approach is that it’s soooooooooo serious. And frankly it shouldn’t be. The woman is worth so much money that she was able to back her own project to the tune of over $30 million until someone finally understood what she was trying to do and bought it (which Amazon duly did). That’s completely insane but also kind of amazing. She didn’t need permission or approval from anyone, she backed herself and got on with it.
I’m not saying the making of art isn’t serious. If you want it to be good and actually say something, then you have to take it seriously. But that doesn’t mean YOU have to be serious because the whole point of art is that you get to play. And play is essential to our survival, which I’m not making up btw; the species with the biggest brains play the most. We literally become more intelligent if we play more.
Where am I going with this?
Well, this week I learned how to be a LEGO SERIOUS PLAY facilitator. The now widely taught method of using LEGO in everything from 1:1 coaching to workshops for big corporates to help them strategise and team build has been around for decades and is now something I can happily add to my toolkit. But the fact that LEGO had to put the word SERIOUS in front of the word PLAY tells you everything you need to know. Adults do not want to play in a work context so in order to convince them to do so it has to be 'serious play' (and scientifically backed) because as far as they’re concerned play doesn’t equal hard work or productivity and it certainly doesn’t equal more profit. WRONG. But that’s not my point.
As people who are much wiser than me have been pointing out for years, the opposite of play isn’t work. The opposite of play is depression. Play is movement, it’s freedom, it’s connection, it’s fun, it’s creative, it’s being in the here and now, it’s safe risk taking and uncertainty. The opposite of that is feeling stuck, frozen, hopeless, overwhelmed and depressed. Play allows us to do great work and honestly, J-Lo might have all the perceived success in the world but without play she has nothing. Without play she will always feel like she’s not enough. Play allows us to be human. It allows us to be ourselves. It reminds us why we exist.
Yesterday I watched a short video of a group of children dancing to music in the Rafah refugee camp that is being relentlessly bombed by the Israelis while the world watches and still does nothing. They were smiling, moving, connecting with each other, clapping and giggling as the sound of the drum beat on. It was an extraordinary sight to behold. Because when they take everything away from you, when there is almost nothing left to live for there is still play.
What I’m reading: I’m about half way through ‘Home Going’ by Yaa Gyasi and loving it.
What I watched: A lot of J-Lo.
What I listened to: A lot of chat about LEGO and play.
Tech I’m using: FreeAgent which is a simple free accounting platform if you have an account with Natwest, RBS, Ulster or Mettle.
Trending down: The deselection of Faiza Shaheen which some might say is a cynical move by Starmer and his team to reassure voters in the centre and convince Tory swing voters to move over to Labour.
Trending up: Lucy Hawthorne, my LEGO SERIOUS PLAY facilitator, who’s on a mission to get more climate activists playing and who likes to break the rules. You can find out more about her HERE.
As June is just around the corner and we’ve reached our halfway point in the year my questions to you are: what are you striving for; who are you doing it for; and why are you doing it?
Till soon!
Jennie x
P.S. Here are some ways you can work with me:
· 1:1 or small group coaching for ambitious purpose-driven creatives to gain clarity, confidence and motivation so they can make more money to reinvest in their careers, businesses and communities. Check out some testimonials HERE.
· Workshops and masterclasses that achieve meaningful outcomes through playful ways. LEGO is now one of them, but I have other tricks up my sleeve. You can read more about my experience HERE.
· Workshops for children between 4-8 years old exploring feelings of courage, fear and loss honestly, sensitively and most importantly playfully. They accompany my children’s book, ‘Becoming Brave’. More info can be found HERE.
**You can also find out more by booking a call with me HERE.**