I'll Be So Lonely, Baby
Why connection is more important than ever - and how to find it
The other day, I watched the new Elvis documentary on Netflix. Back in my early twenties, I went through a bit of an Elvis obsession and the isolation that he experienced during his career wasn’t lost on me even then. Watching the documentary got me thinking about loneliness and all the different ways it shows up.
There’s being surrounded by people, apparently having the time of your life, but feeling oh so very lonely. You long for deeper connection but don’t know how to find it.
There’s staring at a screen for days, jumping from one Zoom call to the next, wishing Covid had never happened.
There’s working non-stop without proper support, wondering if you’re doing a good job but getting no feedback.
There’s growing up and friendships changing – some suddenly, some slowly – leaving you wondering if it’s just you.
There’s family members who leave you feeling worse about yourself, to the point where you’ve had to restrict time spent with them.
There’s losing the one person who could make you feel less lonely and wondering if you’ll ever not feel lonely again.
There’s taking the plunge to be vulnerable (like Brené Brown said you should), and when it wasn’t met (like Brené Brown said it would be) you feel exposed and rejected leading you to distance yourself from the people you reached out to.
There’s putting on a mask of resilience and independence, keeping everyone at arm’s length, while longing for connection.
There’s asking “How are you?” when what you really want to say is, “Can we connect?”
There’s being so busy with work that you only see people in a professional context (mostly on a screen), secretly wishing for deeper relationships with those who truly get you.
And then there’s feeling so lonely you can’t move a muscle and wonder what the point of it all is.
Loneliness: A Growing Issue
Loneliness is on the rise. According to Loneliness Awareness Week:
• 45% of adults report feeling lonely.
• 16–29 year-olds are twice as likely to feel lonely as those over 70.
• Loneliness is a risk factor for depression in later life.
• And it’s worse for your health than obesity.
Meanwhile, Gallup’s 2023 State of the Workplace report revealed that one in five employees feel lonely for much of their working day, especially with remote working. Furthermore, the World Health Organisation has reported a 25% increase in anxiety and depression since 2020 due to social isolation.
We just aren’t as connected as we used to be.
Yet loneliness feels like something we’re too scared to admit, like it’s something to feel ashamed of - a bit like that time in school when you were teased for having no friends.
I recently listened to a snippet of a podcast where someone described the “peace” in the loneliness of being at the top. I thought: Well that’s bullshit. Loneliness isn’t peaceful. It’s isolating and, frankly, quite painful.
But it’s here, a big part of many of our lives.
The Solution? Connection (there it is again!).
Connection is all it takes to feel less lonely. Meaningful, safe, genuine connection.
We’re hardwired to connect, desperate to feel more - to know our colleagues IRL (we’ve even created an acronym for that because we’re online so much!), to see friends IRL, to laugh and cry and be ourselves IRL.
So why is it so hard?
If you’re feeling lonely - in any way - please know it’s okay to reach out to someone you trust. Ask for help, a chat, or some time together. It’s hard when you feel lonely, but that’s exactly why it’s so important to try.
Till soon!
Jennie x
P.S. Want to chat and find out more? Book a call with me HERE.
P.P.S. Here’s how you can work with me:
• Ambitious, Purpose-Driven Individuals: I provide 1:1 creative coaching to help you find clarity, achieve balance, and feel more connected to yourself and others so you can grow your career or business sustainably. Learn more HERE.
• Teams Who Want to Work Better Together: I deliver sessions that will creatively and playfully engage your team, helping them feel more connected, build trust, and collaborate more effectively. Find out more HERE.
• Primary Educators: My drama and storytelling workshops, alongside my children’s book Becoming Brave, help children build emotional intelligence and resilience. Find out more here. Find out more HERE.