Are You Doing Enough?
What if the feeling you’re chasing… never arrives?
A few weeks ago, I caught up on a group coaching call I’d missed. It was with the coaching community I’m part of, The Coach’s Operating System. The topic? ‘Enoughness’.
I wasn’t there live but I wish I had been, the conversation was so powerful I listened to the recording twice. I might even go back a third time.
I’ve known for a while that I grew up feeling like I wasn’t enough. That it didn’t matter how hard I worked or how well I did, I still didn’t feel it. But I hadn’t connected that belief to why I never truly felt satisfied, even when I achieved the big, impossible dreams I set for myself.
I’ve written before about those dreams. After Abram died, I mapped them out: my own home, a partner, a dog, a car, a life that felt like mine.
Seven years later, I’d ticked off every one.
And yet when I look back, I realise I barely celebrated and that made me realise that I rarely ever celebrate anything. When I do the feeling never sticks. I just go straight back to the old script:
I need to do more.
I’m not doing enough.
I don’t have enough.
I’m not enough.
And now that I’ve clocked it, I see it everywhere. With clients. With friends. In myself.
People who are brilliant, driven, generous, ambitious. Who are building businesses, creating change, doing the work.
But underneath it all? That same belief.
And here’s what finally landed for me:
If you create from a place of ‘not enough,’ you will never feel enough.
Not when you hit your income goal.
Not when you get the gigs, the awards, the book deals.
Not even when the impossible dreams comes true.
Because you’re not practising the feeling of enoughness now. You’re rehearsing the belief that the only way to feel enough is to be, do or have more.
As one of my mentors Townsend Wardlaw would say: “What a fucking racket.”
It doesn’t matter how much money you make. Or how many accolades you collect. Or how visible and loved and celebrated you are.
If you are creating a life from the place of: I’m not enough that is how you will always feel.
You’ll keep moving the goalposts. Keep hustling. Keep proving. And even if you do get what you want, it will feel fragile. Temporary. Like it could all be taken away.
Here’s the catch: we’re human. We want more. We want to dream, to build, to have something to work towards. We want to make an impact, feel seen, be proud of what we’ve built.
But the energy we create from makes all the difference.
If you’re attached to the belief that when you reach the goal you’ll finally feel like enough (safe, validated, visible, successful) you’re setting yourself up for a long road ahead.
That future feeling will always slip through your fingers. And the more you reach for it the harder it will be. Like magnets repelling each other. The more attached you are to the feeling that you believe you’ll experience when you get there, the harder it is to get there.
So what’s the alternative?
You dream the dream.
You set the vision.
But you stop outsourcing the feeling.
You give yourself permission to feel it now.
I am enough.
I am doing enough.
I have enough.
Right now.
You let that be the foundation. Not the reward.
But the feeling of creating from not enoughness is sneaky. For example:
A few months ago, I was invited to a breathwork session. It was beautiful, intimate and held in the most stunning setting. Like a lot of things in my life I found myself there serendipitously. I didn’t know the facilitator, but she was extraordinary.
Afterwards, we chatted and talked about meeting up. I followed up with a message thanking her again and she asked for a quote. In my enthusiasm I sent her a short transcripted voice note - heartfelt and generous. And then… nothing. No reply. No acknowledgement. Just silence.
I bumped into her recently. It was awkward. We said a polite hello and moved on.
Later, I thought: I should send a message. Say it was nice to see her.
But then I caught myself.
Am I doing this from a place of enoughness?
And the answer was: no.
I was trying to fix something. To do more.
So I didn’t send the message.
That moment felt small, but significant. A quiet realisation of how much the feeling of not enoughness shows up in my life.
And that’s what I want to offer you. A moment to pause. To notice:
Where are you creating from a place of ‘not enough’?
Where are you believing that more is the only way?
And what would shift if you gave yourself permission to feel enough now?
I’ll leave you with this:
What’s your version of ‘not enough’?
Is it:
→ I’m not doing enough?
→ I don’t have enough?
→ I am not enough?
Which ones drive you?
And what would it look like to stop?
Till soon!
Jennie x
P.S. ✨ What’s on…
On 15th October I’m co-hosting a workshop in King’s Cross with my creative partner in crime Alice Havill called ‘The Serious Business of Play’. We’ll explore how understanding your play type can unlock creativity, flow, and collaboration. There are less than a handful of newly released tickets left. Book HERE.
On 24th November, Heard’s Secret Dinner Party comes to Brussels and I’m hosting! After six months of searching I’ve finally found the perfect spot. A place where strangers meet over beautiful food, the location revealed the night before, the menu presented to you when you arrive. If this sounds like your kind of thing, hit reply or register HERE.
And on 16th January I’m hosting a free 90 mins hands on and playful lunchtime workshop (online) to explore your relationship with money in more depth. Join the waiting list HERE.
P.P.S. Connect with me here:
📸 Instagram: @jenniecashman
🔗 LinkedIn: in/jenniecashman